I know there are easily a gazillion best-of lists out there so I totally forgive you if you are getting to the point where you can’t take one more. But, as you know, your comfort has never been my paramount concern so…..and, I’m just a huge, lazy ass.
One of my favorite things from 2012 was the realization that there are a million exceptionally non-famous funny people in the world. Many of these lunatics are just as funny as the most famous comedians out there. It’s really the number one thing that keeps me somewhat hopeful for our species.
So, without further ado, I present some things that made me happy this year.
Noo Yorque Times Top 5 Left of Plumb Posts (because I am learning about shameless self-promotion)
My Favorite Pop Culture Travesties
50 Shades of Gray – The revelation that middle-aged women are horny nymphomaniacs changed the way I look at all middle-aged women.
Magic Mike – See above entry….forgive the pun.
Liz and Dick – In the ongoing train wreck that is La Lohan, we got to watch her barreling toward the brick wall for a full 2 hours.
Hulk Hogan – Ish. I never did get around to doing a post about this one….I think I’m still throwing up in my mouth when I think of it.
Hunger Games – Hatefully addictive. My personal skeleton in my closet of shame.
My Online Humor Discoveries
KidFreeLiving – Amy VanSant is so freakin’ funny it completely pisses me off!
TheBloggess – Has anyone on the planet NOT read and fallen in love with Jenny Lawson? She is the sassy matriarch of blogging!
Bad Lip Reading – I weep uncontrollably with laughter at every one of these and check the site like a rabid stalker to see what new videos they have posted.
Twitter, in general
I really really really really hate to admit this but have been exceptionally entertained by Twitter. Before this year, I looked upon it with scorn and malice as a place for whiney, needy people to talk about the consistency of their morning constitutions. I now see that, if you follow the right people, it is HILARIOUS.
My Favorite Tweeters (though the list could be pages long….)
Amy Vansant @KidFreeLiving
Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
Dave Hill @mrdavehill
Best Political Tweets
What a sad day for legitimate and illegitimate rapists. ~Matt Roller @rolldiggity
If you have never had the misfortune to be raped, fight the urge to put on a suit and talk expansively about its’ meaning. ~Uncle Dynamite @UncleDynamite
Enjoy your gay marryjuana, Seattle! ~God @tweetofgod
IT IS NO LONGER A PROJECTION. IT IS OFFICIAL: I’m kind of a fan of Sea Breeze cocktails! ~Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
Has Michelle won First Lady yet? ‘Cause if SHE loses…. Awkward. ~ Dana Gould @DanaJGould
Why is the same show on EVERY CHANNEL? ~ Mike Birbiglia @birbigs
THE RESULTS ARE IN IN OHIO: my step-cousin Jaden is OFFICIALLY the new day-shift manager of the Hardee’s on Coleman Road. ~ Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
Sleep tight, America, and know that – no matter who you voted for – tomorrow we will wake up united in our hatred of wobbly tables. ~ The Bloggess @thebloggess
There are more of these, that I love, here: My Election Hangover
Tweets That Made Me Wet Myself
Who wants to see my wiener? Shit. How do I delete on this thing? ~ Dave Hill @mrdavehill
Jedediah leaned upon his rake and said to Isaac, “Thy wife makes a goodly pie.” “I thank thee,” said Isaac. “Most humbly.” #AmishErotica ~ Uncle Dynamite @UncleDynamite
I just tripped, fell and then farted while walking up an escalator and now I have the ability to move objects with my mind. ~ Jerm Himselfish @JermHimselfish
If I had a dollar for every time my dad questioned my sexuality I could afford a bad ass Harley and probably some super cute riding boots. ~ Jeffrey Hadz @Hadzilla
The thesaurus on Microsoft Word is not very… how do I put this… “good” ~ B.J. Novak @bjnovak
Are humans the only mammals that blow each other? I’m asking for a friend. ~Dana Gould @DanaJGould
HOLY SHIT. Is there a sign on my office door that says ‘C’mon in and fart the place up?’ ~Evan @evanrhorne
Whenever someone invites me to go golfing I always think, “Wow, this person knows absolutely nothing about me.” ~Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan
The downside of having a bad memory is occasionally forgetting and then remembering the existence of Mr. Holland’s Opus. ~Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
“Maybe we can sell more clams if we put them in a liquid that looks like vomit?” – Inventor of clam chowder. ~Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan
Realized I was still chewing a piece of bacon as I sat on the toilet, hence discovering the elusive EIGHTH Habit of Highly Effective People. ~Amy Vansant @KidFreeLiving
Got my wig caught in my braces again. ~Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
If I’m ever on life support unplug me,, and then plug me back in again,, and see if that works… ~Gordon McCleary @ASouthernYankee
Our son HATES the rectal thermometer. Ugh, teenagers! ~rob delaney @robdelaney
The worst part about being omniscient is that I can never not know what Newt Gingrich looks like naked. ~God @TheTweetOfGod
In closing, if I can continue to find even more to laugh about in 2013, I think I just may survive! And, here are some pictures to leave you with that just simply made me smile cuz’ they are kinda weird.